Working as a freelance web developer alone with no one to help, it was okay till now but since few months I was checking on my daily schedule that I had almost no time left for myself. Earlier I used to take out time for my hobby, some exercise, little things that kept me social like visiting friends place at various occasions or just hanging out and having a good time etc. but now all I was doing was eating, sleeping and working. Due to this change in life style I noticed rapid increase in body weight as well, which is not a good sign at all.
I thought of hiring someone to work for me but again this freelance work was so typical that I could not find anyone around me worth hiring. I talked about this issue with my friends and one of them who was also from computer background suggested that I can give her some work to do and she will do it for free just for learning and work experience. I agreed and also committed that if her work was good, I would pay for the work, but she insisted that she does not need money.
It began with little easy and small task which I gave her to check her ability and she did a kind of “just okay” job and I knew I was not going to get any worthwhile help from her in my freelance work. I lied and said that her work was good although I was not satisfied. Later on I gave her some designing work to check her taste of colours and how well she understands the current design trends and she failed badly in it. Her design work was pathetic but again to make her not feel bad I said it was good. Although I said it was good since I didn’t use her design in final project and obviously it got rejected by the client as well, she understood now that she needs some training and I agreed to give her that, but I was still quite hopeless. Just like I thought, even after several months of training, I was not seeing any progress and during these time, just that she doesn’t feel bad I used to say that you are working well and you are learning fast and so on.
Now during festive season I usually have truckloads of work with myself as I also take some print design jobs from my local clients and I was not having a minute of free time. However I continued with the training and all this time I was lying that yes I got time but in reality I had no time at all. At last I have to give up when I learnt that she is still stuck from where we started and there was no development at all. I had to speak the truth one by one, starting that I simply have no more time for training now. Wish I had said this much before and saved so much time and embarrassment.
When we manipulate someone, although it seems to work for the moment but then deep inside us we know that we are not doing good and that makes us feel uncomfortable after sometime. Here is a nice TVC by Kinley which shows exactly the same feeling of regret and how one can fix it by just speaking the truth.
Its those days of winter which are super dense foggy in the morning and therefore I always work late night and wake up very late. I do this on purpose because I know that it would be pain to wake up early morning during these cold winter days so why not work late night and then wake up naturally after a good 8 hours of sleep. So usually I got to sleep at 3 AM and wake up around 11 AM in the morning. Perks of being a full time freelance web developer!
So as usual I worked late night yesterday and today morning I was not in any case going to wake up at 9 but then I saw a dream and a seriously “my kind of” beautiful girl took my sleep away and could not sleep any more. First scene in the dream was about apocalypse (no I didn’t see any movie at night) and I was in middle of the road with horror of zombie coming from any side and killing me. I walked around and found an unlocked car and I immediately sneaked inside it to hide. Then there was this huge bus parked at side of the road and a girl was crawling out of the window of the bus. At first I thought she was a zombie so I immediately rolled up all the windows and locked the car from inside.
Next scene of the dream is somehow I am now out of that car in which I was hiding and that girl is also looking around that car for something and it looks like she is normal and not a zombie. She looks pretty as well. Now I decide to leave this place as I manage to start that car and after moving some distance I thought why not ask that girl too. I stopped and turned around to see that gorgeous girl and really she was looking just stunning! I mean really a kind of girl for which you will go to ANY extent and she had a smile on her face. I immediately parked my car on the side so and she popped in.. Right when she comes inside, I dream time stops and I wake up. Now I can’t sleep and after struggling for sometime to fall asleep again, I get up.
I use to hear from my friends about sinus and how few of them were in deep discomfort but I never cared to know about it in detail. I thought it must be a small problem that can go away itself. But things changed and I started feeling mild fever and laziness all day. Another problem that I started experiencing was that I was not able to talk well now, people would say that I talk in quite low voice and this was a major problem over phone. People at the other end of phone could not hear to what I say because I was always talking in a low tone. Why was I doing this? An ENT doctor when I consulted discovered that my ear drums were retracted and when this happens, ears become extra sensitive to sound and I was hearing my own voice quite loudly while talking. This means I was not able to judge how loudly I was speaking so I was always speaking in a low tone. Sinus problem happen when there is a blockage in your nose passage somewhere and sinus gets filled with fluid and develops infection.
Cause of ear drum retraction was infection in sinus and doctor prescribed me three things, a nasal spray which I liked very much, antibiotics and antihistamine tablets which I didn’t liked at all because they made me feel even sleepier all day. I also started taking Dabur Chyawanprash as it helps build better immunity and fight infection. One thing more doctor prescribed which made everyone at home worried, it was CT scan. CT scan gave an impression that something serious has happened although I knew it was pretty normal in sinus cases and I was not worried. But parents always get worried and since it was the first time someone was getting CT scan done in our family, everyone at home was worried. After the 10 days course of antibiotics, CT scan was done and it came clear. There was nothing serious. Knowing this, everyone at home especially my mother was very happy. On the other note, as you can see in my CT scan above there is a side angle x-ray as well. From this angle I was able to see two molars that were filled by dentist few years back. Since fillings were of silver amalgam, it came distinct in the scan and I can see how well he did the job.
During those 10 days, I felt lots of improvement, I was able to talk easily now and I could feel that ear drums were not retracted anymore. Today was the final checkup date and I feel so much better now. During the treatment days, my family and friends were so worried, they asked to consult more doctors but I refused to do that. I have often seen that people move about from one doctor to another just thinking that they will get quick relief from their ailment, what I would say to them is read about your condition online and then tally with what kind of treatment you are getting. Discuss with your doctor and have faith in him, do not listen to others, you have your own brain and should make your own decisions.
When my friends come to my place these days, they always point out that I have gained a lot of weight. Weight machine at my home also tell those extra kilos added. I was a very skinny person but then after my education I could not get any job and so kept working as a freelacer. Now working as a freelance web developer from home means I am confined to my home and I don’t even get time to write a blog post or get my car serviced! Weeks pass and then I realize that I have not stepped out of my home and then I plan a trip to nearby market to buy some groceries and stuff. I am not complaining, I am enjoying my life as I work with my convenience but this convenience is now showing its ill effect. Because of almost no physical work, I am gaining unnecessary weight. People who go to work atleast they have to climb a few stairs, walk around in the office and travel from one place to another which keeps their body in working order. Here a freelancer like me is struck between his computer and the amazing world of internet which keeps him glued. All the work is on computer and all the entertainment is too on computer.
I have also become lazy, and enthusiasm to do something fun is loosing. I was an electronics hobbyist who would not think twice to go out and hunt for a component in market. Today even if I have it in front of me, I will prefer to browse 9gag instead of tinkering with circuits.
Everyday I think of starting to exercise a bit but can’t do it. With this blog post I hope I gavw myself some kick to get started with little workout every morning.